The Single Life of a Teacher's Husband

I thought about starting this for a long time. What held me back? I'm not a writer. I was almost completely deaf until I was five, have dyslexia, and struggle with grammar sometimes. I had speech therapy for years, and hated English class. Luckily, God paired me with an English teacher. She is always talking about taking risks, so here goes nothing. #risktaker

At first, this was all supposed to be a joke. I sent the private message below to my wife after she spent two 10+ hour days in the classroom preparing for the upcoming school year. So, what does she do? She screenshots it and posts it to her twitter-verse for all her teacher friends to see. Apparently folks thought it was pretty funny and encouraged her to encourage me to move forward with it. Here goes nothing...

If you are married to a teacher (a good one), you will identify with everything I'm about to say. I hope to cover various topics and myths associated with the profession of teaching. While also shedding light to what it's truly like to be a spouse of a teacher. I'd like to point out, while at times I'm poking fun at my wife, I have the highest respect for her and the profession.

To start off this first post will be a little more on the serious side and I'd like to tell you a little about myself first. Without context it will be hard for many of you to understand where I'm coming from as a "Single Husband of a Teacher."  I should say a "Disabled Single Husband of a Teacher." You see I've been disabled with severe back issues for about 15 years now. When my wife and I first married I was the sole bread winner. She stayed home with the kids and life was good. Then after about 5 years my back took a turn for the worst. Having a father who was also disabled and who had 5 back surgeries, I watched my mother struggle to provide for our family. I didn't want that for Julie and encouraged her to use her GI bill (she was a Marine) to go back to college and get her degree. When she decided she wanted to be a teacher, I was excited thinking she would have banker hours, with summers off (how naive of me). Those years were hard as I watched her struggle working full time to support the family, while also going to school full time, and taking care of the kids and myself while I recovered from two invasive back surgeries. Without her unconditional love and support, I don't know what I would have done. When the pain was so bad and I wanted to give up, she wouldn't let me. She didn't see me as broken or damaged goods, instead she built me back up and instilled in me a sense of purpose despite my condition. I think that's what makes her such a good teacher. She truly cares about her students, and tries to put herself in their shoes. It goes way beyond English, and instead she focuses on how to connect with each child.

Allow me to write a small vignette to give you an idea of what this blog will entail. 

Household Money Going towards School 

Julie teaches in a district of higher than 65% impoverished students. She's always taught at those kinds of schools. She feels like she can be the biggest blessing there. Lots of times her students have discipline issues. When you were in school, do you remember the teacher that was "cool with all the bad kids," that's her. Probably because of her time in the Marines, but she has seamless discipline. She knows a lot of her students go without. She became an extreme couponer one year just so she could provide backpacks, hygiene products, and/or food bags for any student that wanted one. She literally gave out hundreds of them. She would keep them under a table in her room and kids could come in the morning, after school or during school to grab a bag and not feel embarrassed. She sometimes had no idea who took them, she would just refill the boxes with new bags the next day. She encouraged kids to take an extra bag home for siblings and parents if needed. As sweet as this sounds, it wasn't free. She may save $800 per shopping trip, but she spent $200... $200 of our household money. As you are well aware, a teacher doesn't make a whole lot. So not only was she doing her regular teacher duties (i.e. planning, grading, cutting out laminated stuff for escape games, etc), she was also leaving home for about 4 hours a week couponing... Saving $800 takes a lot of careful time and planning, AND CLIPPING. UGH those little clippings all over the place. But how could I be mad. I met some of her students. They've hugged me. They've thanked me. After payment like that, I can see how easy it is for teachers to want to help. It's helpful to see both sides. I'm at home thinking of how tight we're going to be this month (I take care of all the bills), and then I see why we're tight and how these kids are supported and loved, and it doesn't matter anymore.

This is one of many stories I have to share. I don't want to overdo it, so I'll try to post once a week or every other. I guess first I should see if anyone even cares to read them.  

Now that you know a little more about me, from now on you'll understand where I'm coming from. It's hard as a spouse, especially a disabled spouse, because I don't have the distraction of a career to keep my mind preoccupied. When she isn't here, it can get lonely, and even when she is here, it can be frustrating because she's still lesson planning or grading. For example after working the two previous days, and after reading my message she came home and said I'm staying home tomorrow. Where is she now, at the classroom working. She said she would be an hour, it's already been 2. It's OK though, I know her job is more than a profession. It's a passion and as much as I miss her, I knew pretty early on I would have to share her with the students. With Julie it's all or nothing. She can't do anything halfway. I'm proud to be a spouse of a teacher, and I'm thankful the kids have her. She is a bright light in a dark room, and instead of keeping her all to myself, I would rather her light up the world. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it is that there are countless teachers out there just like her. So I'd like to say thank you to those teachers, for all you do and thank you to the spouses out there for allowing them to brighten up the world one child at a time.

If you plan to start following this blog, please leave me a comment at the bottom. I'm curious if anyone is truly interested in reading this. If you made it this far, Thank you! Please feel free to share with a friend... preferably the spouse of a teacher. We need to be there to support one another.